"Arunachala!" He worshipped, "take away all my worries and problems. Help me!"
The rich man went hurrying inside the long corridor to present his prayers at the Indra Lingam temple. It was a long and narrow corridor. He had asked his car driver to go ahead and park at the Sri Ramanashram and wait for him as he would come around on his Girivalam walk. "Arunachala!" He thought "This is your Girivalam, and I am definitely want to walk all around the sacred place again. I offer my prayers, please, let me complete the pradakshana with your permission. You are my ultimate protector and you are my entire world. I surrender to you, my beloved Arunachala!"
The priest at the inner sanctum welcomed him, for he had been coming on the Girivalam regularly and he was well known at all the ashtalingams. The priests were friendly to him. He always offered his prayers at each of the ashtalingams. He would walk only when the inner sanctums were open and the priest permitted prayers. He would wait at the ashtalingams for 3-4 hours if the inner sanctum was closed. He would not move ahead on the Girivalam path without offering prayers at the ashtalingams.
Dressed in his suit and tie, Mr. Alavandar, the rich man, was looking very different from all the other pilgrims at the Indra Lingam temple. He had rushed out of a meeting that he had at his bankers and local business partners. His office assistant who accompanied him was very familiar with his strange schedule. His boss would remove his suit, tie and trousers at the outer sanctum and don a very simple veshti, a white cotton dhoti, and a very thin linen towel that he would place over his shoulders as a shawl. He would sprinkle water from the century old traditional well at the outer sanctum and present himself at the Indra Lingam. His boss would change completely, the assistant thought, proud of his boss. This was his routine, every three months, driving in from Srirangam, and placing his total surrender to Arunachala.
Three elderly brothers, fellow pilgrims, seated nearby in the outer sanctum watched the rich man's changeover with extreme interest. They noted that the simple dhoti and the white towel that he had now worn, were very old, looked shabby and absolutely worn out. They waited until the rich man went up to the inner sanctum. They asked his assistant, "Who is this man whom you are helping? He seems to be a very rich man, and he has now dressed up as a very simple person. Is he going to go on the Girivalam path like this? Does he walk alone?" The assistant simply nodded in agreement, but he did not reply. He rushed after his boss to be of service.
Mr. Alavandar stood in front of the inner sanctum, and prayed silently. His assistant seemed to anticipate his moves and needs completely. He handed over flowers, coconut, garlands, camphor, incense sticks and ash in a small plastic bag to his boss. The rich man emptied every item reverentially on a stainless steel plate offered by the priest, carefully folded the plastic bag and handed it back. From a small sandalwood box, the assistant picked out a rudraksha necklace and passed it on to the rich man who placed it on the plate with the other offerings. The priest took everything inside the sanctum, conducted the prayers and brought them back. The rich man took out only the rudraksha necklace and wore it around his neck, placed some ash on his forehead and went about walking around the inner sanctum.
Having completed his rounds, he went over to a corner of the outer sanctum and sat on the bare floor, closed his eyes and went into a meditative trance, almost in an instant. The assistant walked over to the farthest corner opposite his boss and sat down peacefully. He knew that it would be more than an hour for his boss to continue in his meditation. The three elderly brothers watched Mr. Alavandar in fascination. They were extremely impressed in the manner of his devotion and dedication. They went over to where the assistant sat, and settled themselves around him. One of the brothers asked the assistant, "Your boss looks so focused and so determined in his worship. Its absolutely amazing. If someone would not have seen him in his costly suit, tie and trousers, they would not know that he is the same man from his appearance now, so simple and so traditional."
The assistant smiled at the appreciation for his boss and replied, "I have known him for the past ten years now, and I am blessed because of him. I travel with him all through the year and we visit many temples around the country. He combines his work and business with his devotion. Because of him, I get to visit so many temples and participate in all prayers and ceremonies. Just imagine, I have a job where I am paid to go to temples and visit the best of places. I have stopped questioning his methods and intent."
The eldest brother heard him peacefully and nodded wisely, and said, "Who knows how Arunachala calls us to HIM? Your boss comes in search of HIM, but for you, HE creates this opportunity. Why should one argue? Do you not meditate, then? Have you not learnt how to meditate? You are so lucky to be with him. But, does he not teach you about meditation? Do you know his prayers or do you know if he chants some quiet mantra to help him in his meditation?"
The assistant thought for a while, trying to recollect, and answered, "How would you learn meditation? I guess you would start and make mistakes. My boss always said that you need a teacher, for one to learn meditation. You cannot start just by watching him or anyone else. The most peaceful looking clerk in a government office may be thinking about a million problems. The busiest housewife, working at a wedding meals for more persons than she has ever cooked for, may be very peaceful in her mind. Similarly, as my boss says, he has never been able to perfect his skills in meditation. He says that he fails each time and loses his concentration. I never have been able to figure out about the moment when he actually loses his concentration. He always looks like he is in a trance."
The three elderly brothers and Mr. Alavandar's assistant watched him quietly, in reverence and awe. They were impressed by the manner in which he had just gone to the corner, sat down, and immediately withdrawn into himself. There were many other pilgrims nearby, with families talking loudly. The priest was making some sound in pulling up water from the deep well. An electrician and a painter were dragging a long aluminium ladder around. Mr. Alavandar did not seem to get disturbed by all the sound and chatter.
One of the brothers, probably the youngest, asked Mr. Alavandar's assistant, "How can your boss not get disturbed by all that sound? I know that I would. How can he meditate so peacefully? So much sound and so much disturbance. The sound of that ladder as it is dragged. Even if I am not in meditation, I am irritated and angry by that sound. How can he not become angry and scold them for not noticing his meditation?"
The assistant laughed. He said, "Once, 5-6 years ago, at one of the ashtalingams, I forget which one, a man scolded his children for making too much noise when my boss was meditating. That man's two children began to speak in whispers. My boss got disturbed by the children speaking in whispers. He spoke to the man and his children and apologised for disturbing them. He went out of the temple and sat under a tree, even as it was raining, and sat there quietly. Later, when the family went on ahead on their Girivalam, my boss came back to his earlier spot and continued with his meditation."
The three elderly brothers also laughed in appreciation. The eldest brother asked, "Who taught him meditation, then? Was there some well known guru? Did he have to learn for a long time? I have also tried to learn meditation, and that is why I ask this question. I have learnt different types of meditation but I am not able to commit myself properly. Something or the other always prevents me from sitting down to meditation. I have many problems in my life. I have lost my job on several occasions. Sometimes there is no money, actual money, even for day to day expenses. My mind goes crazy and tells me to do crazy things. All those meditation classes did not help. My two brothers also face similar problems. That is why we have come here to Arunachala. To search for our future path and direction."
The assistant replied, "Better that you ask him. He is not a businessman in those clothes. He becomes a complete pilgrim and a devotee. He talks to everyone. If anyone asks him any personal questions, he knows how to avoid them without being rude. After he comes out of his meditation, he will sit here, at the Indra Lingam temple for some time. He is happy here, because this is the beginning of the Girivalam for him. He will go slowly from here, to the Agni Lingam and later, again, he will spend more time at Sri Ramanashram. He does the Girivalam walk by taking more than a day and night. He goes very slowly."
"A day and a night? Wow!" The eldest brother remarked, "We have usually done our slowest Girivalam in five hours, and that was also because it was raining very heavily and I had slipped on the path. It would be a blessing indeed to talk to him here at the Indra Lingam and accompany him for some time on the path. Let us wait for him to get back to this world, for I think, he must have gone away somewhere else, otherwise how can someone not get disturbed by all those sounds and activities?"
The three elderly brothers and Mr. Alavandar's assistant sat quietly, busy in their own contemplation of their lives, and waited. One of the brothers went out of the temple and filled up tea in an used mineral water bottle and fetched it inside, with plastic cups. Without any query, along with the priest, they shared the tea among themselves. It felt nice. It was just the right thing for that moment.
After a while, Mr. Alavandar began to move about at his seat and stood up and walked around, stretching his hands and began doing some simple calisthenics. He went back to the well and washed up and came up to the inner sanctum and offered prayers. His assistant sat calmly, behind the inner sanctum, waiting, for he knew that his boss would not require him at this moment. Soon enough, Mr. Alavandar walked up to his assistant and sat down on the ground with him, resting his back on the temple walls, and relaxed. He seemed quite content about his day, and did not look like a man with any agenda or in any hurry.
The three elderly brothers sat nearby, and judging by the expression on their faces, and their eager vibrations that were very obvious, Mr. Alavandar looked at them, smiled, and asked, "You are very curious, are you not? What has my man, Pattabhi, been telling you about me? Are you also on the Girivalam path? You are welcome to walk with me. I enjoy the company. But, Pattabhi would have told you that I go very slowly. If you want to journey together with me, you will have to walk slowly. Is that ok?"
The eldest brother replied, "Swamy, we do not want to disturb you. We will certainly go with you because there is much to learn from you. How is it that you seem to enjoy every moment of the Girivalam and you have come here so many times, as your assistant informed, every three months, and yet, you walk so slowly, and take up so much time on the path? We had come together, for we are brothers all, myself, Kuchela, my younger brothers, Gopinath and Bhaskar. It was difficult for us to come together and travel together. Our families are very different, and we are not able to get away. But, you come here repeatedly, and you take so much time. Does it not affect your work?"
Mr. Alavandar gestured with both his hands to the heavens, in the direction of the sacred Arunachala, and replied, "Who would dare argue with HIM? I am called here, and I am here. Even if I come on the Girivalam path, every three months, there is some inner message. It pulls me here, and I come without fail. But, I have seen over these many years when I have been in his shadow, I have never felt that I have lost my time in business or with my family. Sometimes, when I walk, I think of my work, and sometimes, I think about my family. My man, Pattabhi, is always close by, in my car, or sometimes walking with me. I know that they respect my time here, and that reverence is enough for me. My family loves the fact that I walk here. And, that is good enough for me."
Gopinath, one of the elderly brothers, asked, "Swamy, you are truly an inspiration. Your family must be inspired by your devotion to the sacred Arunachala. We are curious. Your assistant-sir told us that you spend a lot of time at the Indra Lingam temple before starting on the Girivalam path. Why do you do that? Is it not OK to spend more time at the big temple to Annamalai and later be able to take rest at some of the ashtalingams when one is tired? Why do you stay here for such a long time?"
"This is the first of the ashtalingams," Mr. Alavandar said, "That much you are aware, I am sure. But, do you remember, that whenever you complete your Girivalam walk, you are at the Esanya Lingam temple, and you walk through the burial and cremation grounds. That end point signifies that you are nothing. You are over. Your life is completed. You are simply a mound of ash, burnt at the pyre. You surrender totally to Shiva as Esanyan. But, after that end point, you go back to the great temple of Annamalai and you submit to HIS blessings and instructions before going back to your family or place from where you have come from to take part in the Girivalam."
"Similarly, when you return to the Girivalam," He continued, "You start at the Indra Lingam temple, or you start at the Annamalai temple and come to this place. When you come here, you take an oath or a promise or an affirmation, that you have left behind everything to start on this circular journey around the sacred Arunachala. You proclaim to yourself that you have left behind your family, your work, your commitments and your worries and sorrow, your happiness and joy, your burden and your friends. You come here as a mendicant, and you proclaim that you are nobody. It is only then that you are able to truly commit to the pilgrimage and to the walk on the Girivalam path."
The youngest of the three brothers, Bhaskar, asked, "Swamy, how can one do that? How can one simply forget all his worries and problems? How can one forget his happiness, just like that? What is the need to do so? We are here, to dedicate ourselves to the sacred Arunachala, and I understand that. Whenever we walk on the sacred Girivalam path, we are truly devoted to the divinity. We chant the mantra as we were instructed to. We follow all the precautions and the practices. Is that not enough? Why should we clean up and wash out our mind in the manner in which you explained? Pray, forgive me for my questions, but I am curious and your answers would help me."
"I fail in my attempt to cleanse myself, all the time," Mr. Alavandar replied, smiling, "I understand your questions and your concern. I have never succeeded in forgetting everything. I try. Because I know that this is required, I make the attempt. If you would not know, how would you try to forget and how would you be humble in the beginning of the path? We come with our assumptions about our importance. Believe me, for I know this to be very true. We are nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nobody knows us, and nobody is interested in us, in our thoughts or in our lives. Even within our families, friends or colleagues, nobody is actually interested. They listen to our experiences when we speak about them. But, they are impatient to get on with their daily tasks and with their lives."
"Let me give you an example. You go to the Sri Ramanashram with me and let us visit the book stall. Let me explain the Ashtavakra Gita book that is available there. I will explain some of the passages in those pages to you, while we would be at the book stall. How many of the other devotees who are there, in that book stall, actually interested in that particular book, would be actually interested in hearing me trying to explain it? None. They would purchase that book, but how would they understand it? For all this, you need a teacher. Similarly, when you are on the Girivalam path, you need a teacher. And you need instructions."
Kuchela, the eldest of the three brothers, said, "Yes, Swamy, I agree. I have never been able to read even the Bhagavad Gita, from the first page to the last, all by myself. There have been many different volumes of the Gita in our house. But, none of us sat down seriously to read it from cover to cover. And, I am not able to understand that we need a teacher, and instructions when we are on the Girivalam path. How is that?"
Mr. Alavandar laughed at the example that Kuchela spoke about, and replied, "Yes, my brothers, what I say is correct. When you accept a teacher, you accept his guidance. When you come to the big temple of Annamalai, you are merely informing HIM that you are going to start on the path. When you leave the big temple and you start walking to the Indra Lingam temple, you are preparing yourself. Your thoughts are on your footwear, your clothes, the need for water, some snacks to be eaten and your fear for your money and other belongings. But, when you are at the Indra Lingam temple, you are actually beginning the walk. At that moment, when you worship, you accept Arunachala himself, as your teacher, as your guru."
"When you accept Arunachala, within your heart and within your mind, as your teacher, you surrender totally to HIM. There is nothing left but to accept HIS instructions. HE gives you that guarantee, and also asks you to leave behind everything, for each step on this pradakshana is going to be in dedication to HIM. Nothing belongs to you during the path and every thought and every desire should be in dedication to HIM alone. If you have to think about your family, you could have brought them with you, and you could enjoy the walk together, without any attempt at immersion with Arunachala himself. For HE is happy that you are happy and that you walk along with your loved ones, even if they are friends."
"But when you are alone, and you walk on this path," Mr. Alavandar continued, totally engrossed in his own words, "you begin to allow your mind to wander. Your mind goes back to your family, to your workplace, to your problems and to your moments of happiness and achievements. You do not contemplate the sacred divinity of Arunachala. Why do you come here, if you cannot actually be here, in mind and spirit? That is the reason I take up much time at the beginning here, at Indra Lingam, lost in my thought and deliberately washing everything away. I sit there and contemplate on my thoughts, and pick them up, one by one, and throw them away. I try to reach a point where I do not have any more thoughts. But, I have never succeeded. I try and try again. But, this most difficult struggle with myself, at the beginning of the Girivalam path, is the most tiresome. It defeats me completely."
Gopinath asked, amazed, "You never succeed? Then, if you have tried so many times, how can we succeed? Why do you try so many times when you know that it is difficult?"
Mr. Alavandar replied, "It is not the defeat that puzzles me. It is the struggle that amazes me. I know that I want to dump my thoughts. I know that I want to reach a silent place in my mind. I know that I am ready to forget and dump all my baggage. But, I fail. Why can I not empty myself? Am I so obstinate? Is my mind a very different organism? And, as I walk out of the Indra Lingam temple, I make one last attempt. I forget this struggle also. I leave the battle with my mind at the Indra Lingam temple. I go out of this temple as a happy man. I have tried. I am ready to go out there, and surrender to my beloved Arunachala. Come, let us walk out together and breathe in the amazing air that finds its way from the sacred peak and comes in search of us and blesses us."
The rich man went hurrying inside the long corridor to present his prayers at the Indra Lingam temple. It was a long and narrow corridor. He had asked his car driver to go ahead and park at the Sri Ramanashram and wait for him as he would come around on his Girivalam walk. "Arunachala!" He thought "This is your Girivalam, and I am definitely want to walk all around the sacred place again. I offer my prayers, please, let me complete the pradakshana with your permission. You are my ultimate protector and you are my entire world. I surrender to you, my beloved Arunachala!"
The priest at the inner sanctum welcomed him, for he had been coming on the Girivalam regularly and he was well known at all the ashtalingams. The priests were friendly to him. He always offered his prayers at each of the ashtalingams. He would walk only when the inner sanctums were open and the priest permitted prayers. He would wait at the ashtalingams for 3-4 hours if the inner sanctum was closed. He would not move ahead on the Girivalam path without offering prayers at the ashtalingams.
Dressed in his suit and tie, Mr. Alavandar, the rich man, was looking very different from all the other pilgrims at the Indra Lingam temple. He had rushed out of a meeting that he had at his bankers and local business partners. His office assistant who accompanied him was very familiar with his strange schedule. His boss would remove his suit, tie and trousers at the outer sanctum and don a very simple veshti, a white cotton dhoti, and a very thin linen towel that he would place over his shoulders as a shawl. He would sprinkle water from the century old traditional well at the outer sanctum and present himself at the Indra Lingam. His boss would change completely, the assistant thought, proud of his boss. This was his routine, every three months, driving in from Srirangam, and placing his total surrender to Arunachala.
Three elderly brothers, fellow pilgrims, seated nearby in the outer sanctum watched the rich man's changeover with extreme interest. They noted that the simple dhoti and the white towel that he had now worn, were very old, looked shabby and absolutely worn out. They waited until the rich man went up to the inner sanctum. They asked his assistant, "Who is this man whom you are helping? He seems to be a very rich man, and he has now dressed up as a very simple person. Is he going to go on the Girivalam path like this? Does he walk alone?" The assistant simply nodded in agreement, but he did not reply. He rushed after his boss to be of service.
Mr. Alavandar stood in front of the inner sanctum, and prayed silently. His assistant seemed to anticipate his moves and needs completely. He handed over flowers, coconut, garlands, camphor, incense sticks and ash in a small plastic bag to his boss. The rich man emptied every item reverentially on a stainless steel plate offered by the priest, carefully folded the plastic bag and handed it back. From a small sandalwood box, the assistant picked out a rudraksha necklace and passed it on to the rich man who placed it on the plate with the other offerings. The priest took everything inside the sanctum, conducted the prayers and brought them back. The rich man took out only the rudraksha necklace and wore it around his neck, placed some ash on his forehead and went about walking around the inner sanctum.
Having completed his rounds, he went over to a corner of the outer sanctum and sat on the bare floor, closed his eyes and went into a meditative trance, almost in an instant. The assistant walked over to the farthest corner opposite his boss and sat down peacefully. He knew that it would be more than an hour for his boss to continue in his meditation. The three elderly brothers watched Mr. Alavandar in fascination. They were extremely impressed in the manner of his devotion and dedication. They went over to where the assistant sat, and settled themselves around him. One of the brothers asked the assistant, "Your boss looks so focused and so determined in his worship. Its absolutely amazing. If someone would not have seen him in his costly suit, tie and trousers, they would not know that he is the same man from his appearance now, so simple and so traditional."
The assistant smiled at the appreciation for his boss and replied, "I have known him for the past ten years now, and I am blessed because of him. I travel with him all through the year and we visit many temples around the country. He combines his work and business with his devotion. Because of him, I get to visit so many temples and participate in all prayers and ceremonies. Just imagine, I have a job where I am paid to go to temples and visit the best of places. I have stopped questioning his methods and intent."
The eldest brother heard him peacefully and nodded wisely, and said, "Who knows how Arunachala calls us to HIM? Your boss comes in search of HIM, but for you, HE creates this opportunity. Why should one argue? Do you not meditate, then? Have you not learnt how to meditate? You are so lucky to be with him. But, does he not teach you about meditation? Do you know his prayers or do you know if he chants some quiet mantra to help him in his meditation?"
The assistant thought for a while, trying to recollect, and answered, "How would you learn meditation? I guess you would start and make mistakes. My boss always said that you need a teacher, for one to learn meditation. You cannot start just by watching him or anyone else. The most peaceful looking clerk in a government office may be thinking about a million problems. The busiest housewife, working at a wedding meals for more persons than she has ever cooked for, may be very peaceful in her mind. Similarly, as my boss says, he has never been able to perfect his skills in meditation. He says that he fails each time and loses his concentration. I never have been able to figure out about the moment when he actually loses his concentration. He always looks like he is in a trance."
The three elderly brothers and Mr. Alavandar's assistant watched him quietly, in reverence and awe. They were impressed by the manner in which he had just gone to the corner, sat down, and immediately withdrawn into himself. There were many other pilgrims nearby, with families talking loudly. The priest was making some sound in pulling up water from the deep well. An electrician and a painter were dragging a long aluminium ladder around. Mr. Alavandar did not seem to get disturbed by all the sound and chatter.
One of the brothers, probably the youngest, asked Mr. Alavandar's assistant, "How can your boss not get disturbed by all that sound? I know that I would. How can he meditate so peacefully? So much sound and so much disturbance. The sound of that ladder as it is dragged. Even if I am not in meditation, I am irritated and angry by that sound. How can he not become angry and scold them for not noticing his meditation?"
The assistant laughed. He said, "Once, 5-6 years ago, at one of the ashtalingams, I forget which one, a man scolded his children for making too much noise when my boss was meditating. That man's two children began to speak in whispers. My boss got disturbed by the children speaking in whispers. He spoke to the man and his children and apologised for disturbing them. He went out of the temple and sat under a tree, even as it was raining, and sat there quietly. Later, when the family went on ahead on their Girivalam, my boss came back to his earlier spot and continued with his meditation."
The three elderly brothers also laughed in appreciation. The eldest brother asked, "Who taught him meditation, then? Was there some well known guru? Did he have to learn for a long time? I have also tried to learn meditation, and that is why I ask this question. I have learnt different types of meditation but I am not able to commit myself properly. Something or the other always prevents me from sitting down to meditation. I have many problems in my life. I have lost my job on several occasions. Sometimes there is no money, actual money, even for day to day expenses. My mind goes crazy and tells me to do crazy things. All those meditation classes did not help. My two brothers also face similar problems. That is why we have come here to Arunachala. To search for our future path and direction."
The assistant replied, "Better that you ask him. He is not a businessman in those clothes. He becomes a complete pilgrim and a devotee. He talks to everyone. If anyone asks him any personal questions, he knows how to avoid them without being rude. After he comes out of his meditation, he will sit here, at the Indra Lingam temple for some time. He is happy here, because this is the beginning of the Girivalam for him. He will go slowly from here, to the Agni Lingam and later, again, he will spend more time at Sri Ramanashram. He does the Girivalam walk by taking more than a day and night. He goes very slowly."
"A day and a night? Wow!" The eldest brother remarked, "We have usually done our slowest Girivalam in five hours, and that was also because it was raining very heavily and I had slipped on the path. It would be a blessing indeed to talk to him here at the Indra Lingam and accompany him for some time on the path. Let us wait for him to get back to this world, for I think, he must have gone away somewhere else, otherwise how can someone not get disturbed by all those sounds and activities?"
The three elderly brothers and Mr. Alavandar's assistant sat quietly, busy in their own contemplation of their lives, and waited. One of the brothers went out of the temple and filled up tea in an used mineral water bottle and fetched it inside, with plastic cups. Without any query, along with the priest, they shared the tea among themselves. It felt nice. It was just the right thing for that moment.
After a while, Mr. Alavandar began to move about at his seat and stood up and walked around, stretching his hands and began doing some simple calisthenics. He went back to the well and washed up and came up to the inner sanctum and offered prayers. His assistant sat calmly, behind the inner sanctum, waiting, for he knew that his boss would not require him at this moment. Soon enough, Mr. Alavandar walked up to his assistant and sat down on the ground with him, resting his back on the temple walls, and relaxed. He seemed quite content about his day, and did not look like a man with any agenda or in any hurry.
The three elderly brothers sat nearby, and judging by the expression on their faces, and their eager vibrations that were very obvious, Mr. Alavandar looked at them, smiled, and asked, "You are very curious, are you not? What has my man, Pattabhi, been telling you about me? Are you also on the Girivalam path? You are welcome to walk with me. I enjoy the company. But, Pattabhi would have told you that I go very slowly. If you want to journey together with me, you will have to walk slowly. Is that ok?"
The eldest brother replied, "Swamy, we do not want to disturb you. We will certainly go with you because there is much to learn from you. How is it that you seem to enjoy every moment of the Girivalam and you have come here so many times, as your assistant informed, every three months, and yet, you walk so slowly, and take up so much time on the path? We had come together, for we are brothers all, myself, Kuchela, my younger brothers, Gopinath and Bhaskar. It was difficult for us to come together and travel together. Our families are very different, and we are not able to get away. But, you come here repeatedly, and you take so much time. Does it not affect your work?"
Mr. Alavandar gestured with both his hands to the heavens, in the direction of the sacred Arunachala, and replied, "Who would dare argue with HIM? I am called here, and I am here. Even if I come on the Girivalam path, every three months, there is some inner message. It pulls me here, and I come without fail. But, I have seen over these many years when I have been in his shadow, I have never felt that I have lost my time in business or with my family. Sometimes, when I walk, I think of my work, and sometimes, I think about my family. My man, Pattabhi, is always close by, in my car, or sometimes walking with me. I know that they respect my time here, and that reverence is enough for me. My family loves the fact that I walk here. And, that is good enough for me."
Gopinath, one of the elderly brothers, asked, "Swamy, you are truly an inspiration. Your family must be inspired by your devotion to the sacred Arunachala. We are curious. Your assistant-sir told us that you spend a lot of time at the Indra Lingam temple before starting on the Girivalam path. Why do you do that? Is it not OK to spend more time at the big temple to Annamalai and later be able to take rest at some of the ashtalingams when one is tired? Why do you stay here for such a long time?"
"This is the first of the ashtalingams," Mr. Alavandar said, "That much you are aware, I am sure. But, do you remember, that whenever you complete your Girivalam walk, you are at the Esanya Lingam temple, and you walk through the burial and cremation grounds. That end point signifies that you are nothing. You are over. Your life is completed. You are simply a mound of ash, burnt at the pyre. You surrender totally to Shiva as Esanyan. But, after that end point, you go back to the great temple of Annamalai and you submit to HIS blessings and instructions before going back to your family or place from where you have come from to take part in the Girivalam."
"Similarly, when you return to the Girivalam," He continued, "You start at the Indra Lingam temple, or you start at the Annamalai temple and come to this place. When you come here, you take an oath or a promise or an affirmation, that you have left behind everything to start on this circular journey around the sacred Arunachala. You proclaim to yourself that you have left behind your family, your work, your commitments and your worries and sorrow, your happiness and joy, your burden and your friends. You come here as a mendicant, and you proclaim that you are nobody. It is only then that you are able to truly commit to the pilgrimage and to the walk on the Girivalam path."
The youngest of the three brothers, Bhaskar, asked, "Swamy, how can one do that? How can one simply forget all his worries and problems? How can one forget his happiness, just like that? What is the need to do so? We are here, to dedicate ourselves to the sacred Arunachala, and I understand that. Whenever we walk on the sacred Girivalam path, we are truly devoted to the divinity. We chant the mantra as we were instructed to. We follow all the precautions and the practices. Is that not enough? Why should we clean up and wash out our mind in the manner in which you explained? Pray, forgive me for my questions, but I am curious and your answers would help me."
"I fail in my attempt to cleanse myself, all the time," Mr. Alavandar replied, smiling, "I understand your questions and your concern. I have never succeeded in forgetting everything. I try. Because I know that this is required, I make the attempt. If you would not know, how would you try to forget and how would you be humble in the beginning of the path? We come with our assumptions about our importance. Believe me, for I know this to be very true. We are nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nobody knows us, and nobody is interested in us, in our thoughts or in our lives. Even within our families, friends or colleagues, nobody is actually interested. They listen to our experiences when we speak about them. But, they are impatient to get on with their daily tasks and with their lives."
"Let me give you an example. You go to the Sri Ramanashram with me and let us visit the book stall. Let me explain the Ashtavakra Gita book that is available there. I will explain some of the passages in those pages to you, while we would be at the book stall. How many of the other devotees who are there, in that book stall, actually interested in that particular book, would be actually interested in hearing me trying to explain it? None. They would purchase that book, but how would they understand it? For all this, you need a teacher. Similarly, when you are on the Girivalam path, you need a teacher. And you need instructions."
Kuchela, the eldest of the three brothers, said, "Yes, Swamy, I agree. I have never been able to read even the Bhagavad Gita, from the first page to the last, all by myself. There have been many different volumes of the Gita in our house. But, none of us sat down seriously to read it from cover to cover. And, I am not able to understand that we need a teacher, and instructions when we are on the Girivalam path. How is that?"
Mr. Alavandar laughed at the example that Kuchela spoke about, and replied, "Yes, my brothers, what I say is correct. When you accept a teacher, you accept his guidance. When you come to the big temple of Annamalai, you are merely informing HIM that you are going to start on the path. When you leave the big temple and you start walking to the Indra Lingam temple, you are preparing yourself. Your thoughts are on your footwear, your clothes, the need for water, some snacks to be eaten and your fear for your money and other belongings. But, when you are at the Indra Lingam temple, you are actually beginning the walk. At that moment, when you worship, you accept Arunachala himself, as your teacher, as your guru."
"When you accept Arunachala, within your heart and within your mind, as your teacher, you surrender totally to HIM. There is nothing left but to accept HIS instructions. HE gives you that guarantee, and also asks you to leave behind everything, for each step on this pradakshana is going to be in dedication to HIM. Nothing belongs to you during the path and every thought and every desire should be in dedication to HIM alone. If you have to think about your family, you could have brought them with you, and you could enjoy the walk together, without any attempt at immersion with Arunachala himself. For HE is happy that you are happy and that you walk along with your loved ones, even if they are friends."
"But when you are alone, and you walk on this path," Mr. Alavandar continued, totally engrossed in his own words, "you begin to allow your mind to wander. Your mind goes back to your family, to your workplace, to your problems and to your moments of happiness and achievements. You do not contemplate the sacred divinity of Arunachala. Why do you come here, if you cannot actually be here, in mind and spirit? That is the reason I take up much time at the beginning here, at Indra Lingam, lost in my thought and deliberately washing everything away. I sit there and contemplate on my thoughts, and pick them up, one by one, and throw them away. I try to reach a point where I do not have any more thoughts. But, I have never succeeded. I try and try again. But, this most difficult struggle with myself, at the beginning of the Girivalam path, is the most tiresome. It defeats me completely."
Gopinath asked, amazed, "You never succeed? Then, if you have tried so many times, how can we succeed? Why do you try so many times when you know that it is difficult?"
Mr. Alavandar replied, "It is not the defeat that puzzles me. It is the struggle that amazes me. I know that I want to dump my thoughts. I know that I want to reach a silent place in my mind. I know that I am ready to forget and dump all my baggage. But, I fail. Why can I not empty myself? Am I so obstinate? Is my mind a very different organism? And, as I walk out of the Indra Lingam temple, I make one last attempt. I forget this struggle also. I leave the battle with my mind at the Indra Lingam temple. I go out of this temple as a happy man. I have tried. I am ready to go out there, and surrender to my beloved Arunachala. Come, let us walk out together and breathe in the amazing air that finds its way from the sacred peak and comes in search of us and blesses us."
Indra
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